2010 June | The Bitch Blog

The Bitch of the Year Contest

Posted on Jun 30, 2010 in The Bitch's Guide to Love | 2 comments

Being a strong-fab-woman-who-doesn’t-mind-being-called-a-Bitch-if-that-means-she-gets-what-she’s-worth isn’t easy. The women who pull this off every day deserve an award. . . so let’s give you one.

In honor of The Bitch’s Guide to Love’s official release, The Bitch Blog is running the Bitch of the Year Contest. We’re looking for strong women who won’t settle for less than they’re worth. The Bitch of the Year is a girl who doesn’t like starting shit, but she won’t take any either. She works hard and plays harder. The Bitch of the Year is ferocious about life and love. She is unstoppable. She doesn’t feel sorry for herself and she doesn’t make excuses. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to go after it. And she only uses her Bitch powers for good because she knows how to turn the Bitch on and off.

If you know of a woman who meets this description, nominate her. (And if you think you fit the bill, don’t be afraid to nominate yourself either!) Just fill out the form below before July 15^th. We’ll hold voting right here on The Bitch Blog for the nominees and choose the Bitch with the winner on July 26^th.

The Bitch of the Year will receive an advance copy of The Bitch’s Guide to Love, a proclaiming your status as Bitch of the Year 2010 and a $25 gift card to Amazon. She’ll also get a shout out on The Bitch Blog and the smug satisfaction of knowing she’s top Bitch until this time next year.

So what are you waiting for? Get to typing and enter The Bitch of the Year contest today!

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The Bitch’s Guide to Love

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 in Bitchitude, The Bitch's Guide to Love |

Available August 27th

Apparently, you’re a fan of The Bitch Blog. (Um, you’re reading this right? So I’ll just assume that at least you don’t hate it.) Well, did you know that The Bitch Blog is brought to you by The Bitch’s Guide to Love?

The Bitch’s Guide to Love isn’t a book for angry women or male bashing. You don’t even have to be a Bitch to enjoy it. All The Bitch’s Guide to Love aims to help you cut the bullshit when it comes to the game of love. I think we spend too much time worrying about what others think of us and not enough time being ferocious about what we really want and need.

The Bitch’s Guide to Love is about showing you how to identify what you need in your love life and use your natural Bitchitude to lead you to it. We cover relationships from the first date to the last kiss and everything in between. You’ll learn how to set boundaries and how to fight so that nobody has to lose. This book will teach you the difference between saying no and meaning no. By the time you’re done with The Bitch’s Guide to Love, you’ll have a better understanding of what it takes to find love and keep it without settling for less than what you’re worth. In other words, the Bitch way.

Ms. Bitch, here. Your fearless leader.

I’m proud to announce that we have an official release date for the book. The Bitch’s Guide to Love will be available in your local bookstores, on Amazon and from the BlackBelle Publishing Co’s website on August 27 this year. Preorders begin the middle of the July and we plan to give away a few advanced copies in the month of August.

Until then, I’ll be here at The Bitch Blog writing posts about being ferocious, taking life by the balls and ugly babies. I hope you stick around and enjoy it.

Bitch, I’m [Insert Your Name Here]

Posted on Jun 23, 2010 in Bitchitude | 7 comments

It’s not easy walking the walk every day. Confidence is something that ebbs and flows even in the most self-assured Bitch. Some days you feel like you’re on the top of the world and others feel like the world is on top of you. That’s normal for even the most put together woman.

Like Madonna before her, Lady GaGa
never seems to lack confidence.

Lady GaGa recently told a magazine reporter, “When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say: Bitch, you’re Lady GaGa. You get up and walk the walk today.”

Now, Lady GaGa is one crazy Bitch. I like her music and my iTunes is currently claiming that I’ve played Bad Romance hundreds of times. But when it comes to her spraying fake blood and fake killing herself on the stage at the MTV Movie Awards, I was like “WTF?” But regardless of what I think about Lady GaGa, she’s got this confidence thing down to a science. She does what she wants and wears it like it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

And what the hell is this? But does she look
worried? Nope!

You might not be able to walk out of house wearing nothing but a pair of panties, twelve-inch platforms and a mask like Ms. GaGa, but there is something great about you. Maybe you are the best widget maker at your widget factory. Or you can throw down in the kitchen better than Paula Dean on her best day. Or you’ve got a butt that just wouldn’t quit if you fired it. Whatever it is, it’s yours and don’t you forget it.

So when you wake up in the morning and you feeling more pitiful than P. Diddy–And really, who the hell wants to wake up looking like P. Diddy? I’d wake up to his bank account but that’s about it.–don’t let it get to you. Whatever happened to get you feeling a little down is some irrelevant thing that can’t possibly take anything from the woman you are. You’re still you and you better walk the walk, Bitch.

The Bitch Dictionary

Posted on Jun 21, 2010 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Some people are offended by the word “Bitch.” I’m not one of those people. Because when someone’s calling me a Bitch, it’s usually because I won’t take no for an answer or they can’t manipulate me into doing what they want. Hell, I take that as a compliment.

We here at The Bitch Blog hope to redefine the word “Bitch,” along with a few other ones. Below is a list of words that may not mean what you think they do when you read them on this blog:

Bitch

This is not your mother’s dictionary.

A woman who refuses to take any shit, won’t take no for an answer and doesn’t settle for anything less than what she is worth. She knows what she wants and she is bold enough to go after it.

Bitchin’

The act of refusing to shut up just because others may not want to hear what you’re saying. A Bitch says what needs to be said, even when it’s not necessarily the nicest thing.

Bitchitude

The little spark inside every woman (whether she’s a Bitch or not) that spurs her into pulling Bitch moves. Bitchitude is also known as having moxie, having spunk or having balls. A little Bitchitude goes a long way.

Bitch Gone Bad (BGB)

A Bitch who has let her Bitchitude take control instead of taking control of her Bitchitude. You can have a BGB moment or you can end up being a full time BGB. BGBs are bad news all around.

Best Bitch

A Bitch you can count on because she’s one of your best friends and always there for you. It is sometimes abbreviated to BBF or best Bitch forever.

Frenemy

A person who goes through the motions of being your friend in public but talks shit and stabs you in the back when you’re not looking.

Ms. Bitch

The author of this blog and the alter ego of P.S. Jones, the author of The Bitch’s Guide to Love.

The Bitch’s Guide to Love

A straightforward guide to winning the game of love by using your natural Bitchitude. This book will be in stores and on Amazon this August.

The Shitty Friend Protection Program

A tried and true method to drop a shitty friend while avoiding a big fight where they pretend like they’re not a shitty friend and you two make up, only to do this all over again in two months.

Dear Ms. Bitch: That’s MY Promotion!

Posted on Jun 18, 2010 in Dear Ms. Bitch |

Like Dear Abby. . . only Bitchier.

Dear Ms. Bitch:

I just read your post about being ferocious and I really am taking it to heart. It couldn’t have come at a better time because a new position just opened up at my job. It’s a small office but there are still at least three of us that could get it. I know I deserve this promotion but I guess my other two coworkers feel the same way. One of them is even pretty friendly with the person who decides who get this promotion. The worst part is that there’s no formal interview or application for it. The boss just announced that there was a position open and that “Susie” would make the decision. How do I make sure I don’t get screwed over?

—Really, Really Want This Promotion

00448691 Dear Ms. Bitch: Thats MY Promotion!

This way to your career.

Dear Promotion Wanter:

How unprofessional of them! But I guess in a small office, stuff like this can happen. You’ve got three problems here: there’s no real interview, you’ve got competition and Susie’s already got a favorite. There’s a good chance you might not get this gig, but don’t go down without a fight!

Get over to Susie right now and tell her that you would like to set up an appointment or a lunch where you can talk about the new promotion and how you would be perfect for it. Show up to that meeting prepared because you will have to pitch her why you deserve position. If there are any skills that you would have to learn after you get the job, like learning a new computer program, demonstrate that you’ve already started getting familiar with them. Also, be specific about your plans in the position to show that you’ve thought this out. And when you get back from the meeting, send her an email thanking her for her time and reminding her of all your good points. Be sure to CC the boss on it so that he knows this went down. Good luck!