This Whole Chrissy and Jim Jones Thing
I started watching Love and Hip Hop last year because I was bored and none of the Real Housewives were on. I came back time and time again because I’m a glutton for punishment and I’m waiting to see if Fabulous ever shows up because I think he’s a figment of Emily’s imagination.
I’m kidding. I’ve seen pics of them online and it’s a known fact that they were together. I’m just saying that if you were going to be on a reality TV show based on your relationship with a man and he refused to be seen on said show, you should rethink this plan.
But I’m not here to talk about Emily and her ridiculous relationship. I hear to talk about Jimmy and Chrissy.
Read MoreThe Real Housewives of Atlanta: Shower the Baby, Muzzle the Boy
We’re back and I’m all excited because Apollo and Peter are gonna fight. I don’t know who’s gonna win. Peter is a big black islander with a spicy temperature but Apollo has been to jail so you know he’s been in a brawl or two. He’s too pretty to not have to fight in the showers. Honestly, I don’t know which one will win but I know if they oil up and start wrestling on the floor, I won’t be mad at them.
We start off with Sheree, who’s building a new house. (Uh, I guess she’s rich, too, huh?) She’s wearing heels which is stupid and I kinda wanna see her fall. She christens it Chateau Sheree and says she’s building only the necessities. Then she points out the roller skating ballroom. I rolled my eyes so damn hard they almost fell out of my head.
Read MoreThe Real Housewives of Atlanta: Surprisingly Rich
Ok, we’re back. Apparently NeNe, Kandi and Cynthia are going some place together and Kandi is happy to be invited. They head to Miami, christening Atlanta as Haterville. (Hmm, that’s funny. I’ve been calling Long Island that for a few years. Obviously, I’m hanging out with the wrong people in town.)
Ok let’s cut back to Kim, who is supposedly about to 33 years old. (Dude, she is not 33. And if she is, she needs to stop doing what she’s doing because she looks so much older than that.) Kim is still screaming Sweetie’s name like she owns her. Kroy is thinking about buying Kim so crazy big expensive gift for her birthday. I think she just wants another housegirl. What does it costs to buy someone like Sweetie? $20, maybe $30?
Read MoreThe Bad Girls Club: Reunion Part 1
Ok, I admit that I’ve been slacking on the Bad Girls wrapup. I’ve sick, y’all. So while I’ve watched the shows, I didn’t write it up. You’ll live.
But I couldn’t not blog about the reunion because it’s my favorite part of every reality show. I just think it’s hilarious that these people don’t remember that everybody will see everything at some point. Also I need a full 360 view of Stasi’s black swan meets getting dressed in the dark outfit. And Tiara cracks me the fuck up so I need a little dose of her. (Keep it cute or put it on mute!!!! Bwahahahahaha!!!!)
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The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
Alright all you Georgia peaches, we’re back where the white girls wear wigs and you better find someone to check a bitch. It opens up with Kim and Kroy looking at her furniture in storage. I don’t know much about Kroy but he’s seems nice. And Kim is doing a helluva impression of me watching my husband move our furniture. (He knew when he met me that I don’t move shit. He’s accepted that.) The only difference is that i would turn to Sweetie and ask her why she’s wearing the whole MAC counter on her face. I know it’s hot out there. I know that shit is about to start sliding down her face.
Read MoreOn This Kardashian Fairytale Wedding Hoopla
So I finally got around to watching the Kim Kardashian fairytale wedding special. Yes, of course, I’m ashamed of myself. Wasting my brain cells on fast food television will be the reason why I won’t be able to remember my own name when I’m 80. However, my brothers and I used to play this game where one of us would get under a blanket and let the others beat us with foam bats until we could fight their way out. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost most of my brain cells there. So I’m basically a lost cause anyway and I might as well enjoy myself.
Honestly, I just enjoy reality TV and big butts so the Kardashians always entertain me. I mean, they’re not selling me any crappy overpriced perfume or leg warmers or tanning creams or whatever the hell they’re hocking these days but that’s their problem, not mine.
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