Lately, it seems like I’ve been reading about women changing their last names after being married. It’s a pretty controversial subject and endless discussion on both sides. Although I’ve heard a lot of great reasons women have made their choices on both sides of the issue, I’ve also heard a lot of stupid ones. These are the most illogical reasons I’ve heard why women decided whether to change their names:
Because your dream has always been to be called Mrs. Somebody. Honey, there are far better dreams to have. I mean, I would have called you anything you wanted if I knew it was that imporant to you.
Because you’re not sure who you would be if you did change your name: You should be fabulous enough to rock it whatever your name. If you’re not strong enough to do that, then you have to work on your self confidence. That’s a separate issue.
Because it makes it harder to pick your kid up from school when your name is different than theirs. If your kids teachers don’t know who you are and they don’t keep a list of who picks up who, that’s a separate issue. Besides, are you seriously telling me that the teachers at your kid’s school release the children to anyone with same last name? That’s a kidnapping waiting to happen!
Because you hate his last name: If you won’t change your name to his only because you hate it, I guess I can understand that. But it shows some shallowness on your part. Love means being called Mrs. Assfart because he’s gotta be called Mr. Assfart.
Because he wants you to and you didn’t want to fight with your new husband. I hate to break it to you but you’re going to be fighting a lot after you get married. You’re gonna fight about big things, small things and everything in between. You’ll have loud fights, quiet fights, discussions, arguments, tiffs, disagreements, debates etc, etc. If you’re lucky enough to be married to this man forever, you will have more fights than you can shake a stick it at. It comes with the territory of being so close to another human being. So if the only reason that you’re in a hurry to change your name is so you don’t have a fight, you’re in for a rude awakening. If you have a valid reason that you don’t want to change your name, don’t be afraid to defend it. It’s good practice for the rest of your married life.
Because it takes too much paperwork to change your name and you’re not sure it’s gonna last. Ok, stop right now. Do not get married. Just because marriage has turned into a temporary thing for so many people, that doesn’t mean that you should go into it thinking that it’s not going to work. If that’s what you think, you’re probably right. Save yourself the trouble and
Because you never thought you had a choice. You always have a choice. Period.
But it doesn’t matter.
Whether or not you change your name is a personal decision that only you get to make. Even if somebody else (including me) thinks your reasoning is stupid, who cares? You’re the one who has to live with it, so you’re the one who gets to decide.
I changed my name after I got married because it felt right for me in my particular situation. My new last name wasn’t my favorite one in the world and I wasn’t in that much of a hurry to stop being called my old name. But, to me, getting married without changing my last name would have been a lot like joining the Yankees and refusing to wear the uniform. So I did it without hesistation and without fanfair. It took me an hour at the DMV and ten minutes at the Social Security office but I felt like I had truly joined the team after I did it.
What do you think? Are you married? What choice did you make and why? Even if you aren’t married, what do you think about it?
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Ummm….I have yet to change my last name to my husband's, but I did try. There was a problem at the DMV and we said, "Ok, we'll come back later", but…well…we hate the DMV so we haven't been back yet. My husband teases me about not really wanting to be married to him, but I use his last name in every instance as long as it wouldn't get me busted for fraud or something. I will change my last name, I'm just a super sized procrastinator!
Being a procrastinator is a damn good reason not to have changed your name just yet lol. Actually, as long as you're OK with it, whatever reason you use is good enough. It's all up to you. But since you hate the DMV, you'll probably end up changing it the next time you're forced to go. Like if you have to renew it or something.
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