Like most writers, I take what I write from my life. And when I’m writing about love, relationships or men, I draw from my own experience. Which of course includes my husband.
To be fair, he knew I was both a writer and a Bitch when he met me. He had read some of my stuff and I even wrote an article about feeling neglected due to the PlayStation early in our relationship. The day he came home to me gushing because I had been hit with an idea for The Bitch’s Guide to Love, he had to know that our relationship would seep into that book.
The line that all writers have to walk when it comes to our personal lives and work is how much to reveal and how much to keep private. Every relationship is different and that means that you have to do what feels right for you. I know some writers who never talk about their personal lives, but that seems strange to me.
The Hubs and I have agreed that I will not talk about things he specifically asked me not to talk about or things that it’s obvious he would be embarassed by. He also doesn’t want me to use his real name on anything. (And yes, he realizes that anyone who wants to know who he is can do so by checking public records. He just feels better if I don’t mention him by name specifically.) He also actually reads my work regularly to cheer me on and verify that I’m keeping our agreement.
And for now, this works for us. Maybe ten years from now it will be different. In fact, I’m 90% sure it will evolve as I move on to new ways to express my creativity and he and I grow old together. But the most important part is that he and I came to this compromise together. . . which is exactly what being married is all about.
What about you? How would you feel if your significant other wrote about your lives together? And what compromises do you think you two would have to have to make it work? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.
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